fashion deals

Oh. My. God.

My lower back is KILLING ME. Nothing is helping. I sit in a hot bath. I use ice. I'm taking more than is recommended of ibuprofen, tylenol and aleve. Combined. I had some vicodin, but I used that up after my second physical therapy appointment.

Rewind.

Let me tell you a little bit about what happened last week. As we all know, I have chronic back pain for about, oh, 4 years now. I've been through injections, rfa's, lots of medications, etc. I had a new back doc but I just didn't click with him. I felt like he was listening to MY recommendations on what to do for my back pain instead of him, oh, I don't know, doing doctor work. "what have you done before? Okay, we'll do that." Bah.

So I talked to my PCP and got a referral to their back pain guy. It took a few weeks to get in, but I met with him last Thursday. I ♥ him. Seriously. First thing was he sent me for xrays. I've done xrays and mri's before and only thing anyone says is "facet joints in [particular part of spine] shows inflammation". Okay, yeah, BUT WHY? And how can we FIX it? This new guy, who I'll call Dr Love, and I have this conversation right off the bat:

Dr Love: [looking at xray] "Have you ever been a gymnast or cheerleader?"

Me: "Yeah. I did hardcore competative gymnastics for 9 years."

Dr Love: "Does your pain stem from right here?" [pointing at one spot on my back]

Me: "YES. That is EXACTLY where it hurts"

Dr Love: I would hazzard a guess that gymnastics is what did it. And the two consecutive births aggravated it more. [pointing to xray] See these two white things touching together? Those are your facet joints. And they shouldn't be touching. We should see nice big parts of black, which would be fluid, in between those points. And see all these fuzzy white things? That's new bone growth."

Me: [excited beyond belief that he fucking DIAGNOSED ME yet suddenly aware this is not a good diagnosis] Oh no.

Dr Love: But there have been great strides in facet joint fixes, from fusing your vertabrea together to facet joint replacement, which we would only do on someone young and healthy, which you are.

So. I'm exstatic a doctor, after years of going to different ones, figured out what is wrong. And even more exstatic there are treatment options. I hope nothing gets that drastic, but I'm going to continue to see this guy through it all. He started me with physical therapy, the first diagnostic stop, which I am more than willing to comply with. He even said it probably won't help, nor will the injections that are next, but it will help him in the diagnostic process. What not helps is sometimes a better indicator of a problem than what does help.

Anywho. I've been to two sessions with PT and I'm being a good girl and doing my in home excercises. Problem is, my back HURTS. A lot. More than normal and it's a constant thing, barely getting relief for even a few moments. What can I do, right? but I have my next appointment with him on Monday, which we'll talk about the next step. I'm in pain, but I'm ~thrilled~. There may be hope for a fix yet.

Oh - I'm going to LA for my brother's wedding. I'm flying in butt ass early Friday, wedding is next day 10:30a-2p and then I'm heading to mareike's house. Mareike is a commenter on my blog and you may know her, although she doesn't blog herself. I saw she lived in LA and asked if we could meet up. Looks like I'm going to spend saturday afternoon through Sunday afternoon with her. She's even setting me up on her couch for the night! Yay! We're goingt to have a full on slumber party.

So. On Friday I'm pretty much on my own all day. Is there any bloggers out there who live in the LA area who would like to meet me for lunch?

One of my very best friends, Laurel, told me about the First Response Fertility Test.



I had not yet heard of it when she told me about it. "Are You Able to Get Pregnant?" is plastered in huge letters on the box. "A simple test to determine your ability to get pregnant" it touts. What. The. Fuck.

The commercial oversimplifies EVERYTHING! It makes it seem that all you need to do is pee on a stick and it'll tell you if your infertile or not. Argh! Anyone who knows anything about infertility knows it's just not this simple.

Once I went to their website, I read they were very good in explaining what it's actually testing for. It's an FSH urine test. Which ~is~ a good indicator of your ovarian reserve. But it's simply NOT a test to determine if you are fertile or not. What is this going to do to women? Are they going to use this test, think they are fine and not go for any other testing, thinking "all is good"? There are just too many factors to allow one test be called a "fertility indicator".

It just pisses me off beyond belief. Infertility is FINALLY getting the respect it deserves. People are starting to learn about it. Women are finally starting to understand their bodies. And just when things are going right, shit happens that pushes infertility back about a decade. Octomom made the general public think IVF = 8 babies. And now First Response is making women think one test can tell you if you are fertile or not.

** Update - Read Laurel's (her blogging name is Bay) comment, which is the 7th comment down I think. She talks about how thyroid issues can throw this test off and adds even another layer of pissedoffness about this test!

Have any of you seen this commercial? What are your thoughts?

These pictures were taken from The Gazette and I'm sure they are copywritten and all that, but hopefully me giving them credit is all I need to to.

Me warming up (I'm in the middle) ...



Me at the after hours show (I'm next to suzie qt and our coach ODB) ...

I am in utter shock over the comments I have received in the post below (well, actually, on my other blog).

Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. That kind of support is simply overwhelming. You actually have put me in a place where I am beyond words.

If you are interested in ~me~ and not just to be entertained by my blog, please read this post over on my other blog. It's pretty heavy duty and I'm wary of writing something so personal, but we'll see how it goes.

p.s. I'm famous. Or will be. The paper just called to make sure he got my name spelled correctly - There is a spread of the derby team in sunday's paper and one of my pictures is going to be in it! Yay!

The costume is coming together! My performance isn't for another 6 weeks, but I needed all my props to start practicing with, so there was no better time than now, right?

• This is what I purchased yesterday ...
  
  ~ 2 pairs white ruffled panties. I want the one with most coverage.
  
  ~ 1 pink boa and 1 white boa.
  
  ~ White opera length gloves.
  
  ~ White over the knee socks that fold over on top with ruffles and have a bow too.
  
  ~ Black Mary Janes. (realized I had much too white) These shoes, by the way, are freaking GORGEOUS. I walked into Dillards and they were out, in all their glory. The shoe department guy told me they just put them out. They are Gianni Bini's and they are right HERE! Take a look and tell me what you think!
  
  ~ Dancer's fishnets, black, to wear under the socks. (burlesque usually have full coverage of legs and put stocking to take off on top of an underlying of fishnets.)
  
  ~ Blonde baby-doll style wig that is just covered with ringlets.
  
  ~ White tulle skirt to wear underneath the dress. I may forgo to bloomers and leave this on when I drop my dress.
  
  
• Now, this is what I figure I have left to get.
  
  ~ White and/or pink corset. One that is easily removable. If not, I'll cut down the side and add in velcro or easy ties to undo.
  
  ~ White bloomers. The costume shop had these, but didn't have white yet.
  And depending on how the dress/underskirt looks, I may not get this.
  
  
• This is where I ask for your opinion ...
  
  I think for my "big reveal" at the end of the song, with my back to the audience, I'll unhook and drop my corset. I'll keep my arm over my breasts and at the last moment of the song, when she sings brokenheartedly "someday you will ache like I ache" and it's over, I'm going to turn around and show off the girls. Here is my idea ... right breast I'll just wear the petals pastie that will be flesh toned. The right breast I'll have a pastie with a big stitched red felt heart on it. Do you think I should have it be a broken heart, falling in two? Would you think if you saw that it would convey a doll's broken heart?
  
  
• To answer your questions...
  
  ~ Yes, it'll be in colorado springs. October 30th, which is a HUGE bummer because it's the same date as my friend's huge halloween party. But we'll go on early so I'll just be late to the party. I can't tell you how bummed I am about the timing of this!
  
  ~ Yes, anyone can come - it's an open show. I'll give details as it is nearer. (Tori, you can come to the show if you want and then come with us to the halloween party.)
  
  ~ Yes, it will be video taped.
  
  ~ No, I will not be posting it on the internet! I'm terrified doing it in front of our graduating class and the few guests who will be there already. I'm not going to put it on here for everyone to see! How embarrassing!

So if you could, chime with what you think of the broken heart idea please!

I listened to all of your suggestions and rude me went with something I picked myself. I'm going to dance to "Doll Parts" by Hole.

I went to an extra choreograph class tonight and he helped me come up with the beginning. I'm going to be sitting in a chair like a sleeping doll who will slowly come awake, starting with the lyrics "I am .. doll eyes" when I'll pop open my eyes. Then I'll rub my mouth with my fingers at "I am doll mouth". Next line is "doll legs" where I will cross my legs quickly and "doll arms" where I'll do this little sexy thing with my arms.

As the song progresses, I'll pick up a boa from beneath me and do some work with that. I'll slowly stand up and at "I am so real I am beyond fake", I'll unhook the side of my dress, letting it fall to the ground with the word "fake".

My outfit so far will be a wig that's all curly ringlets. Then a doll dress, think of a square dancing dress with lots of fluffiness to it. White high heeled mary janes and ruffled socks. Underneath I'll wear a corset and a pair of white ruffled panties. For the big reveal, I'll unhook my corset revealing a little white bra ~or~ white ruffled pasties. I haven't figured out how far I'll go yet.

So, what do you think??