The dead body in the dumpster and behind my car.

When I graduated college, I moved to where my brand spanking new job was - Central Phoenix. My apartment was awesome. I loved it. But the neighborhood? Let's just say I have a few stories. I'll tell the one very short one about the body in the dumpster and the one about the dead body behind my car.

The dead body in the dumpster

Well, um, there was a dead body in the dumpster. That pretty much wraps up the whole story. I got up to go to work and I pass by the dumpster which is 1 car space and a driveway width away from my car and well, there apparently was a dead body in there. At least the killer was nice enough to clean up after himself.

The dead body behind my car

I am ~always~ late. Not by much - maybe 5-15 minutes, but always late. It sucks. So I was running out to my car to get going to work, maybe in the <5 minutes late zone and since I was getting shit at work lately, I needed to leave.

Except when I got up to my car, there were all kinds of police standing around and a body shaped tarp laying on the pavement, behind my car. I walk up to the police. What's going on? "We've got a body, waiting for homicide" I'm told. I walk up closer as no one is telling me to stay away, and I realize its just the guy's bottom legs that are behind my back tire by seeing the outline of the guy's shoes.

Me: "Can you move the guy so I can back my car out? I gotta get to work."
Cop: "No we can't move him. Gotta wait for homicide."
Me: "How about you just lift up his legs while I back up?"
All 4 Cops: {dead pan stare}...
Me: "Okay, but some one's going to have to call my boss."

I had someone come pick me up from work who verified YES, a dead body was blocking my way to work. I wasn't considered late. :)